Cutie Pie? Little Angel? Sweetie?
There are a lot of names we like to call our children, but let’s face it, sometimes there are other labels we tend to call our children when they are anything but an angel.
Here are the “terms of endearment” we call our kiddies when they hit a nerve:
This brand goes to the biters. They can strike without cause and usually go for the minnows of the the play group. Too bad the theme song doesn’t precede this action. They aren’t bad, they just like to hug their friends… with their teeth.
A screamer just like her mommy? This name goes to the ones who make everyone’s head turn at Target. She asked for the one type of cracker that the store doesn’t carry? Prepare for glass to shatter with her wails! Too bad Target doesn’t carry Valium either.
Another mythical favorite, the child who never stops eating! Everyone asks if it’s a growth spurt and you have to answer that this child is never full. Never. Costco can’t even stock up what your child needs on a daily basis. The aftermath is even more of a “joy.”
The days of having a tidy house are long gone thanks to this kiddo and his busy ways. Your house practically looks like tornado alley when he’s done for the day. He might even laugh in your face when you sing the “clean up song.”
This child has the need for speed. She only knows fast and faster. The third speed would be unconscious. You never go without your cross fits when you take this kid out in public, and you thought leashes were invented for pets?
The Squeaky Wheel
Somebody call the Waaaambulance?
This child never stops whining. Ever. The sun is hot, the grassy is itchy, the toy won’t work, her brother is looking at her funny, she doesn’t like her food touching in her soup… The list goes on.
Want cheese to go with that whine? Actually we just want the wine.
This child can talk as much as the day is long. He probably didn’t even say a word until he turned 3. He can talk about anything and everything. Sometimes you leave a room and walk right back into it and he is still telling you how Ironman is way better than Thor. If only there was therapy to shut him up.
Evel Knievel is a pussy compared to your child. She has no fear and keeps thinking of new ways to defy gravity. She has broken at least three bones before the summer has even started thanks to her stunts. Casts are an accessory in your household and the ER has a room on reserve for you.
No matter what tiny terror you are raising, just know that in the end, these nick names simply just “enhance” their great ability to drive you insane. Maybe that’s why your kid kindly calls you “Crazy Mommy”.