Victoria’s Secret is dead to me

As I was cleaning out my clothes you found a red jeweled thong in my drawer. I see the gleam in your eyes. You look like a kid in a candy store.
“When am I going to see you wear this?”
Never.

I use to enjoy lingerie. The much younger me saw it thrilling and fun. I would go to Victoria Secret enjoying their 5 for 20 sales on lacey thongs. Now a days I’m wearing cotton panties I’ve probably had since I was 18.
It’s not that I don’t lust for you nor have I stopped loving you. I’ve just grown into a person who wants comfort.

When I wore them last, I hated the floss digging into my ass. Or worse, the other side. I wore them for 4 hours in hope that when I did take advantage of you, you would feast your eyes on my surprised attire.
But you barely looked at them! It was within seconds they were out of the picture. After all that, you didn’t even remember what was under my yoga pants? What the hell?

I also don’t care to spend money on under garments anymore. The past two years my body has been the add of Subway sandwich commercial. Going up and down. If I have to go out to buy another bra again, I’m going to tie the old ones together and hang myself.

I’m a mom living in a new and younger world. Shirts are becoming lower and more see-through. I don’t want to look like “that mom” on the playground with a thin, low cut shirt. Tan bras are my old reliables.

We also now have a daughter. Suddenly I feel self-conscious about what I wear. She loves to wear my shoes, my shirts and my jewelry. She wants to be like Mommy. I want her to admire me and see that I’m wonderful and normal. Trust me, if you don’t want her trying on my black panties at the age of two, you will definitely not enjoy it when she’s 16.

So as I put on the faded color under wear, and clasp on the stretched bra know that I still love you. I still want you. In fact, I am more comfortable with my sexuality than I have ever been before. I just like to be comfortable with what’s on my skin. Plus my birthday suit is free!